bunni, bangbunny

Thanks for applying, but you suck.

I had an interview for an AWESOME job yesterday. A Tech Support Representative for Midcontinent. I thought I had it in the bag. I wrote a great blurb in my Resume, and I was positive and enthusiastic at my interview, and I felt I answered the questions well.

However, this afternoon I got the generic email saying "While impressed with your qualifications, we have selected other candidates to continue through the hiring process. We encourage you to apply for future openings for which you qualify."

I was 90% sure I'd get the job. Heck, I have experience, it was basically the same job I was just laid off from at WOW. Plus, it was a job I *LOVE* and am passionate about. I hate it when I put all my time and energy into applying for a job and going to an interview, and thinking about how awesome it would be to get that job, and then I'm shot down. I had was so sure I had the job I had already started making tentative plans around it. Now I'm basically just fucked. Back to square one with goddamn NOTHING to show for it. *THIS* is why I abhor job hunting.

Thinking back over my job history, the 2 times in my life that I was happiest and most enthusiastic about my job was when I worked at WOW(Tech Support) and when I worked at Gateway(also over-the-phone Tech Support). I mean, I liked my other jobs, and I was very happy when I was doing them (well, most of them) but, my passion is helping people and fixing problems, and Tech support is really my calling, I feel.

However, now that I've been rejected by basically the two biggest Tech Support employers in Sioux Falls, it's back to a mediocre, second-rate existence just applying for normal customer service jobs (and probably being rejected by those too)

I feel like a total loser now. It's just not fair.
Big Anime Eyes, PWEEEAAASSSSEEE?, Nyar?

Unemployed again

Well, I was laid off from my Tech Support Job from WOW this morning. *sai* I only worked there 1 year, 1 month. I certainly wasn't expecting it.

The Sioux Falls Call Center was sold to VAST communications, and since they will be servicing only the South Dakota area, there is less need for as may TSRs, so thus I was let go.

I do get severence pay (4 weeks) and at least I can collect unemployment if I need to, but this is NOT what I expected when I went to work this morning.

My partner Jenn (soliloquy) has been wonderful to me. I certainly would be freaking out and breaking down a lot more if it wasn't for her.

However, I feel like yet again I've failed at life. It's times like this I curse my asperger's. If only I was able to read social signs or body language better, I might have seen this coming, but no. I did not.

Anyone need a good tech support person? Maybe I should take this time to get Cisco-certified. *sigh* Life really sucks sometimes.
Video games, Importants!

Learning to stop overediting.....

Is part of writing learning to LET IT GO? Is it just letting yourself write freely without inhibitions and without worrying if you are using the same word too many times? Not so much sacrificing quality for quantity, but just reining in your over-editing self and just posting what you wrote? Let me know what you think. (xposted to Facebook)
Video games, Importants!

I need a new car... AGAIN :\

Well, sadly, the Mikey-mobile (my orange car) got totaled out. I'm not going to go into all the long convoluted details about the accident, but someone smashed into the passenger side of my car (thank GOD Jenn wasn't in the car, she would have been seriously hurt) and the damage is enough that State Farm decided to total out my car.
I am trying my hardest to find a car that will suit my needs AND my budget. ARGH. I only have about $5,000 to work with (the about $8,000 the insurance company values my car at minus the about $3,000 I still owe)
These are the things that are absolute MUSTS in the new "used" car are
+ Cruise control
+ Air conditioning
+ Less than 100,000 miles
+ Good reviews / reliability
+ around $5,000
+ AT LEAST 20 MPG city

These are the things I would LIKE but are not essential:
+ I would LIKE it if it would sit a little higher up than a normal sedan does. Jenn feels a lot safer that way, and I can see a lot better.
+ The COLOR: I would like it to be orange, but my secondary fave colors are green or purple. - I would prefer NOT white or silver.
+ An AV-in jack for the radio (or a tape player so I can use an adapter)
+ I would LOVE a hybrid. Just so I can feel smug about the environment. ;)
+ If I could choose a dream car, I would LOVE to have audio controls on the steering wheel, but that's something that's a far away wish.

I am sadly having a LOT of trouble finding a decent car. I *WANT* to get a new car soon because 1) It makes Jenn very anxious to ride in the busted-up Mikey-mobile, 2) My car is starting to make really scary noises and I'm afraid it might fall apart, 3) Jenn can't ride up front with me (the front passenger door won't open), 4) I think the people at State Farm are going to get sick of waiting to come pick up the Mikey-mobile, and 5) I want to get it done before I have to make another car payment next month and/or another insurance payment.

There is a 2002 Ford Focus that only has had 1 owner and only about 56,000 miles. It is only $5,900 I am seriously considering getting it, but there are a COUPLE things that are really bugging me.
1. The Color - It's white. Blech.
2. No AV-in jack.
3. It sits rather low to the ground.

I know I should just put up with the problems and get this car and just deal with this car until I get out of school and can afford something better, but it's really hard. I *HATE* changing cars, and so it's difficult.

*sai* any suggestions anyone out there??
ARGH, Raph Smash

Surgery bills are EXPENSIVE - Especially since I'm losing my job :P

It's been a while since I updated, and there's a ton of stuff I need to talk about.

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Well, that's it for THIS entry. I still need to make another entry about my car being broken into and stuff stolen in December, and an entry recapping the AWESOME time I had in North Carolina with robina1984, jem0000000, & aussiegirl17 in January... gah, I'm behind on posting!

Fake memory meme

"forced" to do this by bunnymaccool:

If you read this, if your eyes are passing over this right now,(even if we don't speak often or ever) please post a comment with a COMPLETELY MADE UP AND FICTIONAL memory of you and me.

It can be anything you want - good or bad. :)

When you're finished, post this little paragraph in your LJ and see what your friends come up with. If you WANT to do this, you can. I'm not gonna be a hardass and MAKE you do it tho ;)


Also, I don't know WHY they have to be fake memories. I do insane enough stuff, so if you want to share a REAL memory, that's cool with me too.

Info about North Carolina Trip! Woot Woot!

Well, I will catch you up on the events of the last month or so in a later entry (hopefully sometime this week). However, in the meantime, I am going to North Carolina to visit robina1984, jem0000000, and aussiegirl17! XD I will be there from next Saturday (Jan 14th) until the following Saturday (Jan 21st)

This stuff prolly isn't of any interest to anyone but the peoples directly connected with it: Collapse )
Shiney Donnie

Writer's Block: B.Y.O.B. Holidays

What is your must-see holiday movie? One random answer will win a $50 Amazon gift card. [Details here]

The 1st Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie! XD What? It's about family, and isn't that REALLY what the holidays are all about?? ;)

... you're just lucky I didn't answer "We Wish You A Turtle Christmas"! WRAP RAP! XD

.... yes I did this entry just to enter for the $50 amazon gift card ;)
bunni, bangbunny

My Gall Bladder has no consideration for others.

Well, I *THINK* the phone interview that I did last Thursday went okay. They said they should get back to me within 5 to 10 business days, so I'm crossing my fingers hopefully! I should know if I got the job (or at least a second interview) by December 22nd at the latest. Yayness! :)

In other news, I spent Sunday night/Monday morning in the Emergency Room at Sanford. Eeps!
At about 10:50pm or so on Sunday night, I was laying in bed watching TV after Jenn had fallen asleep and I got a pain in my stomach, which I mistook for just an upset stomach (I have trouble telling the difference between severe pain and nausea). I went upstairs and took some pepto-bismol and ran a warm bath (two things that usually tend to soothe my tummy) While I was in the tub, the nausea hit full force. I pulled myself over to the toilet and threw up. Up to this point, the experience was something that I had experienced many times in the last 2 years or so. Usually after throwing up or sitting in the tub for a while I feel well enough to go to sleep and I feel better in the morning.
However, after that point, things took a disturbingly scary turn. I found myself in so much pain after throwing up that I was crying (I don't cry very often) I was laying on the bathroom floor, crying, naked and wet. (and if Jenn had been not asleep w earplugs in, I would have yelled to her for help) Thankfully, the pain seemed to come in waves (although I was in too much pain to realize that until much later, when I was in the ER) During one of the lesser parts of the pain, I was able to pull my clothes on so that my dad didn't see me naked when I left the bathroom and went down to Jenn & my bedroom.
I pulled myself into bed as another high point of pain hit me, and contemplated waking Jenn up. Seriously, I wasn't going to wake her up (It seems to be murphy's law or something, but whenever I start complaining about this type of pain, it seems to go away and I end up feeling like a drama queen/idiot/hypochondriac) However, I remembered that women many times have this chest pain and nausea as symptoms of a heart attack. I didn't want to die of a heart attack, so I shook Jenn awake and said "I think I'm having a heart attack!" (I know, what a TERRIBLE way to wake someone up! Yikes!)
Jenn didn't know what to do (I don't blame her, she was sleep-addled, and had taken her Seroquel (her sleepy-time med)) so I went upstairs and told my dad I thought I was having a heart attack. He gave me some aspirin and then called 911. The fire engine and an ambulance came and evaluated me. They wanted to take me to the hospital, but I wasn't sure if my insurance covered the ambulance, so I declined. As soon as they left, Jenn, my dad, and I got into my dad's van and headed to the Sanford emergency room. My dad drove like a race-car driver to get there. It's good it was late at night, so there was hardly any traffic.
We got to the Emergency Room and we got a room right away. They put a bunch of wires on me and did a bunch of tests (can't remember what they were what right now) and took my blood. They figured out that it WASN'T my heart and I wasn't having a heart attack, thank god.
I writhed around in pain for about 3+ hours while they tried different pain meds to see if they would help me (at least that's what I *THINK* the reason was why I was in pain so long) in the meantime, they gave me an ultrasound of my gall bladder and noticed that I had/have a lot of stones in it.
I am unclear on what happened in the time I was in the emergency room. I guess my brain was too addled with pain to pay attention to secondary functions like recording memories. I know that I'm missing a lot of things in my mental replay because I'll say something like "I wish they would have said definitively that it was gall bladder problems" and Jenn will tell me "Ummm... they did, Marne. Like 3 or 4 times." ACK.
They finally got my pain under control and got me discharged at about 3:30am, and they recommended that I just call the surgery doctor in the morning and get the surgery for the removal of my gall bladder scheduled.

I tell you what, if I had known what a PAIN IN THE ASS it would be to schedule my gall bladder surgery, I would have just stayed in the emergency room until they gave me my surgery (another example of my memory not working; Jenn says they gave me that option and I turned it down. I have NO recollection of this)
I called Dr. Tschetter's office (the surgeon who was supposedly on call the night that I came in, even though I NEVER saw him. I only saw Dr. Vankeulen.) and they couldn't schedule my surgery until either December 23rd or January 9th, Neither of these would work, because in case you hadn't heard, Jennifer is having a hysterectomy on December 23rd, and it would be very bad for us to BOTH be laid up at the same time. (it's something I want to avoid at all costs)
Plus the fact that since the attack, my gall bladder seems to protest a little whenever I eat anything. And I HAVE been sticking to a bland diet like they want me to. However, I am afraid of another attack, and I don't want to wait until next month to get the damned little offending organ removed out of me.
Anyway, thankfully I have a sister who is a surgical nurse who works at the hospital. She poked around a bit and got me in for a consultation with one of the other surgeons, Dr. Sorrell, for 11:30AM this Thursday, the 15th. She told me to fast from midnight the day before because they'd probably do the surgery that day. I was relieved.
However, after I went to the trouble and got that all set up, the hospital calls me back and says they want me to see the doctor that I "saw" in the ER, Dr. Tschetter, because then he will know what is going on with my case. I tried to explain to them that I never even SAW him, but they said I had to go see him. Somehow a magical consultation opened up with Dr. Tschetter on Friday at 11AM. *sai*
I am still going to fast the day of my appointment and hope that I get the surgery that day. I don't know if I will or not. I'm going to talk to my sister about it tonight at supper.

I've decided *this* about the appointment/consult on Friday. If they tell me that they think it's something other than my gall bladder, and THAT'S why they don't wanna do the surgery, then fine. I will work with that. HOWEVER, if they tell me it's my gall bladder, but they don't schedule my surgery for later that day, then I will be pissed. I will leave the doctors office and go have Long John Silvers for lunch and if that doesn't trigger an attack, then I am having Burger King for supper! :P Then when I go to the ER, I'm going to stay there until they remove the damn thing!!

I tell you my gall bladder has a TERRIBLE sense of timing. It doesn't need to be pulling these shenanigans right before the end of the year and right before Jenn's surgery! I guess my body says "Hey! No fair! If Jenn gets to have surgeries we do too!!" ;}
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Even THINKING about changing jobs is uber stressful! O_O

I can't keep WAITING to succeed. I keep waiting to make more sales/income/profit at my current job so that I can justify asking for a raise. ($250 a week BEFORE taxes is just NOT a living wage, especially for a full-time job *sai*)

So I applied for a Citibank customer service job last night (no sales), and I got a call back surprisingly quick. They just called me and set up a phone interview for today at 5:20PM. Eeks! Scary!

I should make a list of why getting a new job scares me.
+ Quitting/giving up too soon?
+ wasting time listing the last few months?
+ Love my current job. :\

There are a million reasons why moving from my current job scares me, Maybe I will list them later, but right now even STARTING that list is giving me anxiety headaches, and I don't need to have that stressed mindset when I'm doing my phone interview in a few hours.

I guess the main reason I want to move from my current job is the money issue. I'm 31 years old now. I want to be able to afford to move out of my dad's basement and get my own house. The thing that bothers me the most is that I feel kinda like a liar. I've always said that money doesn't matter as long as you love your job ... However, when it's not even a living wage (technically I make less than minimum wage right now) it just can't happen. It sucks because I HIGHLY enjoy my job that I have right now, and I'm very good at it. But there are months when I actually COST the company money to employ me (in other words, the profit I generate is less than the money it costs to pay me for that month) and the months I *DO* make enough, I only make a few hundred dollars at most over my salary costs. :[

Hell, maybe I'm worrying for nothing. Maybe I'll totally bomb this interview tonight, or maybe citibank will say "no way I want that crazy working here again!" I guess I will just wait and see.

I will write another entry tomorrow (hopefully) detailing why I'm afraid to leave my current job and with more info and thoughts about this. I will also tell you all how the interview went (although I doubt if they'll confirm the job yes or no over the phone, we shall see.)
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